Bitter? Or Better! Three Tips For Dealing With Criticism
I recently went to the National Worship Leaders Conference. Naturally, it was crawling with all kinds of creatives with different expressions and styles. And, of course, there were a lot of skinny jeans. Not every worship leader wears skinny jeans, but there is one thing all worship leaders wear every time they stand before a congregation: a TARGET. It’s not a choice, it’s required. It’s simply part of the dress code, an occupational hazard.
When you surrender to God’s call to lead His people, be ready. You’re not going to please all of them. Not everyone is going to be encouraging. Some will scrutinize, even criticize. I’ve been criticized for my song selection, musical style, tempo, volume, lighting, even my clothing. I’ve pretty much heard it all. Criticism is part of the job, so how do we deal with it?
Three Tips for dealing with criticism:
- Humble yourself. We have a choice: either humble ourselves, or God will humble us. The Bible is clear on which option to choose. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” Pride is that nasty thing inside of us that turns criticism into crisis. Humbling ourselves means laying down our defenses and trusting God to lift us up, just as He has promised. When we humbly lay down our defenses, it often disarms the situation and enables resolution. If we are going to lead, we must lead by example. Humbling one’s self is an act of worship. It’s God-honoring. Criticism can hurt, but pride will destroy. When a worship leader succumbs to the temptation to react pridefully in the face of criticism, nobody wins except the enemy (Ephesians 6:12). Obey God’s instruction; humble yourself, and He will lift you up.
- Listen. Al Pacino was once asked what the most important aspect of acting is. He immediately replied, “Listening. If you don’t listen, then you won’t know how to react.” Listening to criticism can be painful. It takes maturity to respond and deal with it in a healthy way. Everyone has an opinion. What most people want is just to be listened to, so hear them out. They may say something profound (even if they didn’t intend to). Years ago, a man (who I knew didn’t like anything I was doing) came up to me after a service. That particular morning, I had introduced an original song, during which I remember getting lost in worship. The man asked me if I had written it. I said, “Yes,” and he said he could tell. I asked how he could tell, and he said something that has stuck with me to this day. He said, “I could tell because you were really into it as you were singing. But can I tell you something? Don’t forget about us.” God spoke to me through that man’s words. He taught me, right then, to never forget the crowd. A worship service is not about my worship. I can worship on my own. It’s about all of us worshiping. When someone gives you feedback, humble yourself and listen. You never know: God may speak to you in an unexpected way.
- Consider the source. It’s healthy to listen to criticism, but it’s unhealthy to believe everything you hear. Criticism can be such a blow and a downer. The truth hurts, but there will be times when you hear things that are untrue or even ridiculous. That’s when it’s important to consider the source. One apple spoils the whole bunch. Don’t let one church member cloud your view of all the good things God is doing. Remember, you will not please everyone. Some church members are spending too much time inspecting your actions rather than expecting God’s actions. Humble yourself and listen, but don’t let anyone steal your joy. Consider the source. They may be in a rough spot in their own life or have an unresolved issue with you. Your humble response could potentially help them. It may even lead to an amazing, God-sized victory.
Criticism will either make you bitter or better: it’s up to you. Criticism is not the enemy; it is merely a tool of the enemy, but the enemy is defeated. The same Power that conquered the grave lives inside of us, and there is no criticism so big we can’t overcome it.
