Remembering “Sharon”
Remembering “Sharon”
Being a Christian is a beautiful thing; I love life as a Born Again Believer. Before I gave my life to Christ I didn’t have anything that really made me smile and joy was just a fantasy. No, the Christian life is not problem free and my life is certainly not a bed of roses. Nevertheless, even with the scuffles and the mêlées, I wouldn’t change my life for anything. The road is often rugged and we are asked to do things we either don’t want to do and most times it’s things we don’t know how to do. If I were to tell anyone anything about my walk as a Christian, I would honestly say, “it’s not easy, but it’s worth it all.” The transitions I successfully made were miracles. I can’t take credit for anything;
God gets all the glory.
In-spite of all my idiosyncrasies. God has been so gracious, so kind and so longsuffering with me. I am still amazed that God has a purpose for my life. It took me years to digest this. Like Gideon, I thought of myself as the least of my siblings. I thank God, He saw something He could consider quality and valuable in me and my life. When I consider that I am God’s representative I have so many mixed emotions. One part of me is over joyed while on the other side I feel so unworthy. I’m so glad I know that I am not able to measure up as worthy in and of myself, but through the finish work of Jesus I qualify for all that God has given to me.
Christmas of 1989 my life was just out of control. I was filled with stress, and anxiety and the definitions Webster employs to define a toxic life. I knew I had to go back to church, but I was afraid. Then my girlfriend/ co-worker invited me to come and see what she had found by coming to her church’s Christmas service. I had not attended church service for what seemed like forever. When my husband and I were dating we attended different churches, but we visited the others’ church. In-fact, we got married in his family church. Four children and ten years later, he told me he was an atheist. Church wasn’t a welcomed topic in my house. Nevertheless, that Christmas I went to church with my girlfriend.
The moment I stepped in the sanctuary the essence of Christmas and the presence of God met me at the door. I wasn’t sure at first how I would feel to be back on church but my fears faded instantly and His loving presence made me feel at home. That night I committed my life to Christ. I believed in God all my life, but I had never invited Christ into my life. I never knew we could invite Christ to come in your heart. Sounds really unreal and almost unbelievable but it’s true. There were a lot of things that never clicked for me growing up and that is why I could not have imagined that God’s presence would be there to meet me at the door. There was still so much I needed and would get to know about this God and His Son Jesus.
Once I began to grow in this personal relationship with Jesus, He began using my life mightily; on the job especially. That social service building had become my church. My director would assign certain clients to me to service because no one else could. The clients on my caseload would come in for their regular appointments and The Lord would use me to minister into their lives, lay hands and even heal right there at my desk. For over 15 years, God used my life right in that social service building to help the clients and co-workers. One person in particular was my co-worker, Sharon. Sharon as we find out after trying to get her out of the group was HIV positive.
Sharon was a young beautiful woman; she had every reason to live. She had two smart and awesome children, a wonderful immediate family, and a husband that loved her dearly. Sharon married young and having no children they began hanging out getting drunk and eventually, they indulge in heavy drugs. Sharon’s husband, Mike decided to sell drugs and Sharon got a wakeup call and got a job. That is how she ended up working at Social Services with me. One-night Mike sold drugs to an undercover narcotics agent. Mike was sentenced to 25 years in federal prison.
Unaware of Sharon’s condition, the group voted to have her removed about a month after she arrived. Sharon was a lovely person, personable kind, giving and generous, but Sharon was BUSY. She was like a busy bee buzzing all over the place and when she wasn’t a bee she was a gnat; and a pure nuisance. The group had 6 workers that sat right next to each other on two close knit rows. Sharon sat in the fore-corner next to the wall and I was in-between her and the third worker. Every time Sharon had to exit I had to duck down and scoot my chair in. She got up a million times a day; she has to go. On the day we signed the petition to evict her The Lord told me Sharon was going to die. I was speechless.; I didn’t know she was sick.
The Lord let me know there wasn’t much time and I had to minister to her. At first I had doubts that she would listen less more surrender. A few days later she came to me and told me she was ready to hear what God had to say, and if I had a word for her. I began ministering to her that day making sure to at mention to her about the Love of God for her and His forgiveness. I told her it wasn’t about dying, but about where we were going to spend eternity. I spent every opportunity ministering the world to her and giving her Scripture on God’s love and plan for salvation. I told her about the model sinner’s prayer and once she understood I asked if she wanted me to go with her to pray for her salvation, but she chose to go alone. When she came back to her desk she told me she did it and we hugged and said good-night. The next morning when I got to work Sharon was not at her desk, but there was a blanket of peace covering that corner seat and I knew for myself that she had met the Lord. I was so happy for her, this was just remarkable. Just think, a few weeks ago the whole group was petitioning to have her removed from the group, now we were looking at a miracle. Sharon didn’t look like death was imminent, she looked awesome. A month later she had a crisis and I asked the Lord to please let me be absent when the call came that she went home.
Two months later Sharon had another crisis and had to be hospitalized. I suddenly got sick with a fever and was bed ridden. The nest morning a co-worker called to say Sharon passed earlier that morning. I miss Sharon and I will never forget her. Before she went in the hospital the last time she took up a collection for me to buy me a graduating present. When she did not get enough money from the workers she took from her pocket and bought me a 14 carat yellow gold watch. How do you thank someone for being that selfless?
I did not go to the hospital to visit her even though, per her request I was the only person other than the family that was permitted to visit her. I could not go to the home going, I didn’t want to remember her that way. As Christians, we don’t have all the answers, and actually, nobody expects us to except us. Christians struggle with obeying God even though we love Him. Whether we like it or not struggles are necessary to shape our character, strengthens our faith, and deepen our trust in God. The life of a Christian is not always easy.
