Soar on Wings Like Egos, 5

5 Questions to Clip Our Ego Wings

I sometimes look at the young, hip worship band members in the “famous” churches and wonder if they’d let me play guitar on their team if I attended their church. I think I’ve got the chops to hang with them. But I exceed both the age and weight limit of skinny jeans, and you won’t see me rocking a man-scarf. Then there’s the cool hair. If I tried to grow my hair out, I’d look more like Art Garfunkel with a straight iron than one of the boys from Hillsong United.

It’s fun to wonder and joke about, but what if a few of those guys started showing up in my church, not only with guitar talent, but with an ability and charisma to lead. How am I going to feel?

The final question in our “ego check” series is just that:

Do I feel threatened (maybe just a little?) when a new person that plays the same instrument/sings the same part joins the team?*

Let’s admit it, there are a few involuntarily questions that pop into our mind when someone shows up playing the same instrument as us:

• Since he’s joining the team, does this mean he’s taking one of my Sundays.
• Is he better than me?
• Is he going to completely replace me?
• Do the leader and team like him better than me?
• Do I need to start using pomade in my hair?

Sounds a little neurotic and paranoid. But in our weaker moments, we ask at least one or two of those questions. What it reveals in our hearts is a natural desire to hang on to what is ours. But that’s problem. It’s not ours.

Ministry positions are stewardships. The ministry is entrusted to us for a season. We are expected to turn it in to something more for the One who gave it to us. So we need to hold it with an open hand. He can give us more, or he can take our ministry away and give it to another steward.

So if you find even a twinge of feeling threatened by a new person on the team, there are three questions to start with: Why, What and What.

Why do I feel threatened?

What am I afraid to lose?

What is God trying to teach me through this?

If you can’t shake those feelings, talk to your leader. Hopefully he or she can help you walk through this. It may be that you just need graciously learn to share what has always been solely yours. Or you just might be in the beginning stages of a ministry hand-off.  If it’s the latter, here are three ways that can go:

1. You drop the baton and walk away, letting someone else pick it up and try to resume the race.

2. The leadership pries the baton from your fingers and gives it someone else.

3. You choose to be an integral part of a graceful hand-off, incrementally giving your ministry to another through mentorship.

I believe the best way to deal with jealousy and feeling threatened is to embrace #3. Look for your replacement. Mentor younger musicians. Give them opportunities. And through this, you’ll likely find that your ministry increases because your influence, talent and contribution are multiplied in others.

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Tell us about some ways you’ve seen people feeling threatened in your ministry and experience. How did that play out?

Other Worship Planning Articles.

How do you encourage mentoring on your team?

*These questions come from the ebook, 52 Tweaks to a Stronger Team. You can sign up for a free copy on the WorshipTeamCoach.com homepage.