Worship Planning: Soar On Wings Like Egos, 2

5 Questions to Clip Our Ego Wings

Read Part 1

Every team has a griper. You know, that person who’d complain if his ice cream was cold. It’s like someone’s been spitting in his Cheerios every morning since he was nine. It’s easy to get frustrated and vent to others about him. But then–crud…now I’m the critical person. But I’m not as bad, right?

The second question to “check your ego” (from the free ebook  52 Tweaks to a Stronger Team) is this:

Do I find that I’m critical (even in my own mind) of others on the team?

I don’t have to be the ‘team griper’ to be guilty of this. In fact, I’m finding this one tough to put to paper, because it’s hitting so close to home. I’m in the middle of dealing with my own critical spirit towards a team member. I’d love to go into details and spell it out, but occasionally my own team reads my stuff. It’s probably best if I do my typing therapy elsewhere.

Everyone on the team is susceptible to a critical spirit. And leaders are no exception. Often times, it’s a bigger temptation for us because we deal with so many people. And as leaders we also have the most to lose: our attitude will be reflected by the people we lead.

Here are some reasons we get critical:

1. I base my self-worth on the performance of others.
2. I compare myself to others.
3. I voice “frustrations” to others which only fans the flame in my critical heart.
4. I fail to forgive when I’ve been hurt by someone.
5. I allow stress and circumstances to steal my joy.

Bottom-line with each of these: I allow sin to go unchecked in my heart – and it becomes all about ME.

Here are some things I’m trying to work on:

“The ministry of holding my tongue.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)
Bonhoeffer said in his book, Life Together,

that we “often combat our evil thoughts most effectively if we absolutely refuse to allow them to be expressed in words.”

Expect offensive behavior to come (Luke 17:1)…
…and treat it as a trial. James 1 is pretty clear on how to deal with trials.

Practice gratitude.
This is both an offensive and defensive strategy. If someone’s starting to get under my skin, my “normal” reaction is to complain (to myself, God and others) and then dream how I’d like to deal with her. (You know those fantasy fights or debates where you roast that person with zingers and put her in her spot once and for all…OK, am I seriously the only one who does that?)

But if thank God for her, listing in writing everything I can think of to be grateful for–her as a person, for the positive stuff she brings to the team, for the untapped potential I see, for her as a sister in Christ – there’s little room in my heart for a critical spirit. Likewise, if I’ve already allowed full blown anger to grow in my heart, practicing gratitude will help pave the way towards forgiveness and genuine love.

Gratitude is the antivenin for bitterness.

Forgive.
Forgive is an easy word to throw around, but it gets heavier as the offense gets deeper. Forgiving someone is a process. And it’s not for the other person. It’s for me, to free my heart from the offense committed against me.*

When I first wrote these questions, I didn’t realize the rocky path this particular one would lead me down. It’s worth the asking, but be ready for the journey…

Next week we’ll look at another ego check question: Is it tough for me to worship when I’m not onstage?

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How have you dealt with gripers and critical spirits on your team?

What are ways you guard against having a critical spirit?

*Just to get you started, here some steps to work through forgiving others. I stole it from John Bevere’s book, The Bait of Satan. Two other books I’d recommend – Getting Rid of the Gorilla (Jones) and Total Forgiveness (Kendall).

1. We need to confess and repent of our own sin: the sin of unforgiveness
2. We have to acknowledge our inability to forgive apart from God
3. Cancel the debt this person owes us, just as God canceled our debt
4. Pray as Christ did: for God to forgive those who sinned against him.
5. Ask for Christ to bless those who have hurt you and lead them closer to Him.

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