How do you Balance Family and Ministry?

The question is an old one: “How do we balance family and ministry?” If we asked pastors, worship leaders and other staff members from the past forty to fifty years, what do you think their answers would be? I can guarantee you would end up with all sorts of answers, including some that just don’t fit into today’s modern world.

1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV) says, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for the members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” That is a strong statement: “…worse than an unbeliever.”

The world has changed

The world was different forty to fifty years ago. Women mainly stayed home and raised children while their husbands went off to work. Women usually did not hold an office in ministry like the do today. They usually just helped their husbands fulfill the call in their lives.

Today’s society is vastly different. As women take on more responsibilities outside the home, men are taking on more responsibilities inside the home. Both men and women are serving in local ministry, traveling ministry, and pastoring the local church. Both are being pulled in all directions by counseling, phone calls, staff meeting, worship planning and so on. We worship leaders are busy looking for new or writing original music. We are caring for our teams as well as performing other tasks as assigned to help the church. We are servants, after all, and we are to serve joyfully (Colossians 3:23).

How do you balance family and ministry?

So how do you serve in the ministry while putting your family first? How do you be the best minister, spouse and parent? How do you effectively operate in both worlds?

There is no perfect formula for balancing family life and ministry. There are no easy steps. But the Bible has given us a few guidelines:

• God is your first priority “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” –Deuteronomy 6:5
• Your spouse is the second priority “Husbands love your wives even as Christ has loved the church, and gave himself for it.” –Ephesians 5:25
• Children are your third priority “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6

Ministers who put ministry ahead of their families often end up separated or divorced, with their children (feeling secondary to their parent’s ministry) pulling away from God. This is why balance is so important. We must realize God loves the family unit, and He would never call us to ministry that would marginalize our families.

We must take account of the time we devote to the church, then step back and ask the Lord to show us how to budget our time to better balance our lives. Balance is a good thing: it brings clarity of spirit, peace of mind and fulfillment. God is well-balanced. He can help us if we will heed his ways, exchanging our natural priorities for his. He can show us those things we need to reposition and those we need to let go.

So slow down; take time to evaluate your family life and ministry. Do some re-balancing. Start a new season of living a balanced life.